Life update part one: I tore my ACL (and some work updates)

Hello, dear readers! Yes, I’m still here.

I wrote to email subscribers and monthly supporters last week. I shared how I think about writing to them every day. I also promised to send a life update before the year ends.

Last October 21st, I hurt my knee while playing basketball. It was a simple play: an opponent missed a shot, and I jumped to grab a rebound. But when I landed, my left knee buckled, and I immediately crumpled to the floor. I knew my injury wasn’t a simple sprain because I felt a pop in my knee.

I didn’t want to go to the hospital. I just wanted to go home, rest my knee, and see my kids. Thankfully, I was able to drive home and went up our stairs to prepare for bed.

Week 1 to 2 Post Injury:

The following day, my knee became swollen, and I could no longer put any weight on my knee. I also couldn’t straighten or bend my knee, so my wife and I ordered crutches. I was on crutches for two weeks. But I still couldn’t go to the hospital because it was my mom’s 60th birthday celebration the following weekend, and I also had a passport appointment. Oh, and I also needed to work, so I didn’t have much free time during the first two weeks post-injury.

Week 3 to 4:

On the third week of my injury, I finally went to a doctor who recommended getting magnetic resonance imaging (MRI) on my left knee. On the following day, I had my MRI done. The MRI results came at night and showed what I feared the most: I tore the anterior cruciate ligament (ACL) in my left knee.

I went back to the doctor after a few days, and he said that I would be limping for the rest of my life unless I got surgery. He said I would no longer be able to straighten or bend my knee beyond 90 degrees. After all, most believe that ACLs do not heal on their own because there is no blood supply flowing near the ACL.

As a basketball fan, I know that the recovery period for ACL surgeries is from 6 to 8 months. For professional athletes, it even takes 10 to 12 months before they can return to competition. And it often takes them another year before they return to their pre-injury form. Unfortunately, some are not able to return to their form pre-injury. A torn ACL is a career-altering injury.

But more than not being able to play basketball for a year (or even ever), I was devastated because I was afraid that I could no longer play with my kids like before. I still wanted to be able to carry them, chase them, and run around with them. After all, my kids are only four and two years old.

The following week, I went to another doctor who performed ACL reconstruction surgery on many patients I saw on the internet and YouTube. I was ready to undergo surgery and physical therapy for six months to one year. But the doctor told me I could take the non-surgical route if I’m not planning to play basketball again. But I have to expect some pain while pivoting and doing other sudden movements. But he can also perform the surgery if I really want to go through it. I told the doctor I would think about what he said and get back to him. But before I left, he also told me to practice straightening my knee and walking straight.

After that visit, I prayed hard and discerned WHEN to get surgery. I gathered all the information I could about the surgery, such as what I should expect before and after the surgery, possible complications, when I would be able to walk again, and what the next 12 months would be like. I was exhausted and discouraged after four weeks of limping, countless calls made to hospitals, and actual hospital visits. I also dreaded having screws drilled into my bones for the rest of my life. (Oh, and by the way, ACL reconstruction surgeries cost at least 200,000 pesos in private hospitals. It can easily cost 300,000 in renowned hospitals.)

I finally felt peace when there was an impression on me not to go through surgery. Not going through surgery wasn’t even an option for me, but it was a comforting and consoling feeling. There was a sense of peace that I could not put into words. Maybe it is blind faith or foolishness on my part, but I felt Jesus telling me that He could heal me even without surgery.

Before I continue, a disclaimer: This is not medical advice. Knee injuries vary from person to person. Instability is one of the most significant factors when deciding whether to go through surgery. Aside from a torn ACL, some also tear their meniscus or other ligaments during a knee injury. Fortunately, I’m not feeling any instability in my left knee. I only have a torn ACL.

That night, my wife found a Facebook group of people who tore their ACLs and menisci but opted not to undergo surgery. I joined the group the following morning, and I read stories of people who not only went back to their daily lives without any issues from their injuries but also went back to competitive sports! They simply went through extensive rehabilitation and physical therapy. Some doctors in the group also shared new studies showing that ACL tears can heal without surgery. Some members even shared MRIs of their healed ACLs months or years after their injuries. Not only did the stories lift my spirit but also my faith. “I will get well even without surgery.” That became my mantra and conviction.

It also gave me another option to delay surgery and see how I would respond to physical therapy first. If I cannot perform my daily activities normally after extensive rehabilitation and physical therapy, I can decide to go through surgery later.

When I decided not to go through surgery (or at least delay surgery), I started practicing walking straight. Somehow, I improved, but I still couldn’t bend my knee beyond 90 degrees or fully straighten it. I also had a hard time going up and down stairs.

Week 5:

In the fifth week, I looked for a rehabilitation and/or physical therapy doctor. He designed a six-week physical therapy program for me but said that the results might not be the same if I go through physical therapy AFTER surgery. Still, he encouraged me to return to my activities before getting injured. He didn’t want me to say that I would no longer play basketball because of my injury and that I was only doing it for the kids. He wanted me to think more positively and believe that I could recover.

I started physical therapy the day after and had my second session a few days later. On days I didn’t have a physical therapy session, I continued doing the exercises at home. After just two sessions, I could finally straighten and bend my knees. And by being able to straighten and bend my knees, I could walk normally again.

Week 6 to 7:

During the next two weeks, I completed the first half of my six-week program. My knee improved and became even stronger. I jogged, hopped, kneeled during Mass, and even started running up and down the stairs. I even started playing a little bit of basketball. Most importantly, I could chase my kids, carry them, and even jog around with them.

My physical therapist even told me that she was surprised that I could already jog for as long as I did. She had another patient who underwent surgery but could no longer straighten or bend his knee. (I do pray he gets well too.)

Week 8 to present:

Today, I feel like I’m back to 90% to 95% of my activities before getting injured. The 5% to 10% of the activities that I can’t do (at least not yet) are sports-related. I still experience some pain when pivoting, and I haven’t tried running as fast or jumping as high as I can. But I’m pleased that I can do almost 100% of my daily activities, especially the ones involving our kids.

The Lord be praised. There were moments when I felt foolish for deciding not to go through surgery. There were times when I doubted the prompting and peace I had in my heart. There were days when I was afraid that what I had was blind faith that Jesus would heal me. But I can now write that the Lord healed me… and more.

My next appointment with my physical therapy doctor is next year, and we’ll see if I still need to go through the next six sessions. But every day, I continue to do my stretching and strengthening exercises, and I know my knee is getting even stronger.

That’s it for my knee update.

Unfortunately, my kids and I caught a cold after finishing my physical therapy session. 😅 We just celebrated Christmas a little bit sick, but we’re almost 100% now.

Whew! I didn’t expect to write a lot about my torn ACL. I was supposed to give a quick timeline of my injury and recovery. So I’ll just share my reflections with you on Monday.

Work update:

Before the year ends, I also wish to share my plans for the blog for 2023.

I started my first blog in 2013. That’s also when I first left the corporate world and pursued an unconventional career. While I have been blogging inconsistently, it will be ten years since I started writing.

In almost ten years of blogging, I wrote on and off. I lacked the consistency and the commitment to write. I would write for a while and then be gone for weeks or even months, especially when my day job got busy. Sometimes I would choose to play video games instead of writing on the blog during my free time.

Yet, blogging has always been at the back of my mind, whether I’m at work or playing video games. Sometimes, I would pass on work or business opportunities because they would take some time away from my blog. I no longer studied to improve my web development skills or explored new job opportunities because of my blog. And now, I feel like my dream of blogging is already holding me back from taking a step further in my career or business.

Thus, 2023 may be my last year of blogging. If I still lack the consistency and commitment before the year ends, and if I still fail to write a book this year, I will quit blogging or at least take an indefinite break until I find a new job that I find meaningful or launch a business. Because if I can’t be committed this year when the stakes are high, I’m sure next year will still be the same, and I may remain in limbo forever. I also must know when to quit and move on to other things.

Let’s see what will happen in 2023. Will I become consistent and committed? Or will I finally quit blogging? We’ll see in a year.

But I want to take this chance to thank you for believing in me and this project throughout the years.

Next week (in the new year), I will start writing on the blog twice a week. I will be posting on Mondays and Thursdays. Hopefully, as I become more consistent, I will begin posting thrice a week and then five times a week.

Finally, I also became a financial advisor to help my wife provide service to her clients. Becoming a financial advisor is something I accomplished this year, so I guess I made a little progress professionally and in becoming an entrepreneur (an insurance entrepreneur that is) in 2022. I still don’t know how to integrate finance tips with the blog, but if you have any questions about insurance or insurance products, you can send me an email. (No commitment, I promise. My day job is still my primary source of income, and my blog is still my number one dream, so I’m a pretty chill financial advisor. 😎)

That’s it! That’s my life and work update for 2022. But I’ll share with you the biggest lessons I learned from my torn ACL next week. It will be my first post for 2023. I’m so excited to share the lessons I learned with you because they changed my life. I feel like God did not just heal my injury. He healed my soul and relationships as well. Yes, I think I have become a better person, husband, father, brother, and son because of my injury.

How about you?

I hope to hear from you. What’s your life and work update for 2022? Feel free to send me an email through my contact form. If you’re an email subscriber, feel free to send a reply! I’m excited to hear from you.

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This post first appeared on carlocruz.org.